Because sometimes the laundry piles, the toddler screams, and your coffee is cold before you even take a sip.
Let’s be honest, some days feel like a total mess. You wake up already tired. The kids are cranky. You forgot it was pajama day (again), and now you’re scraping yogurt off the couch cushions wondering how the heck you’re supposed to “enjoy every moment.”
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Motherhood is beautiful, yes—but it’s also intense, exhausting, and relentlessly demanding. Especially on those hard days, your mindset can either feel like a lifeline… or another weight pulling you down.
So let’s talk about a few simple mindset shifts that can help you breathe deeper, let go of perfection, and actually feel more grounded, even when the day feels anything but.
1. “I’m not failing. I’m human.”
We can be our harshest critics. The moment things go sideways, that inner voice loves to whisper, “You’re messing this up.”
Last month, I completely forgot my son’s preschool pajama day. He walked into his classroom in regular clothes while every other child was dressed in cozy PJs, and the look on his face crushed me. My mind immediately spiraled: “What kind of mother forgets pajama day? Everyone else remembered. I’m failing at the simplest things.”
Pause. Breathe. You’re not failing—you’re navigating a wildly unpredictable role with zero training and constant curveballs. You are allowed to have off days. You are allowed to feel overwhelmed. That doesn’t make you a bad mom. It makes you human.
Try this: When your inner critic shows up, respond with: “This is hard, not because I’m doing it wrong, but because it’s hard.” For me, sometimes this means literally looking in the mirror and saying, “Hey, you’re doing your best with what you’ve got today.”
2. “Rest is productive.”
When the to-do list is endless, rest can feel indulgent, or worse, lazy. But your worth isn’t tied to your output. And you can’t pour from an empty cup (we know, cliché, but still true).
I struggled with this for years. While my son napped, I’d frantically clean, meal prep, and answer emails instead of resting. One particularly exhausted afternoon, I collapsed onto the couch instead of tackling the mountain of laundry, and simply closed my eyes for 20 minutes. When my son woke up, I was calmer, more patient, and actually enjoyed our afternoon together, something that wouldn’t have happened if I’d spent that time folding onesies.
Rest isn’t quitting. It’s resetting. And some days, the most productive thing you can do is sit on the couch with a hot cup of tea and not do all the things.
Try this: Instead of asking, “What do I need to get done?” ask, “What do I need to feel like myself again?” For me, sometimes it’s 15 minutes with a craft, a quick shower with the fancy soap I usually “save,” or calling a friend who makes me laugh.
3. “This moment doesn’t define the whole day.”
You lost your patience. The toddler melted down in the store. The baby spit up on your last clean shirt. It’s tempting to write the whole day off as a disaster.
Just last week, I snapped at my kids before 8 AM because we were late and we couldn’t seem to just get our socks and shoes on. I raised my voice. They cried. I immediately felt terrible and declared the day “ruined” in my head. But then my son asked me if I would like to get a coffee and that sounded like the perfect way to reset.
But every moment is a fresh start. You can reset at any time—with a breath, a walk, a cuddle, or even just a good cry in the bathroom (no shame).
Try this: Choose a simple grounding ritual—like lighting a candle, stepping outside, or putting on your favorite playlist—as a reset button when the day starts spiraling. My personal reset is putting on my “dance it out” playlist and having an impromptu kitchen dance party with the kids. It’s impossible to stay frustrated when you’re doing ridiculous moves to 90s pop hits.
4. “I don’t have to do it all to be a good mom.”
Social media might make it look like everyone else is baking sourdough while running a business and making sensory bins. The truth? Most moms are just doing their best—and so are you.
I once spent three hours making homemade organic baby food pouches because I saw another mom posting her beautiful rainbow-colored creations online. My baby took one bite and promptly spit it across the kitchen. Meanwhile, he happily devoured a piece of lint off the floor. That was my wake-up call that I was stretching myself thin for things that didn’t actually matter to my specific children.
You don’t have to do all the things. You just need to do the right things for your family, in this season. That’s more than enough.
Try this: Make a “done list” instead of a to-do list. At the end of the day, jot down what you actually did—and give yourself credit for it. Yesterday, my “done” list included “found missing shoe,” “remembered vitamins,” and “didn’t cry when we were late again.” Small wins are still wins.
5. “I’m allowed to need support.”
Motherhood was never meant to be done alone. You were never meant to carry it all without help, without rest, and without space to be your own person, too.
For me, this lesson came after trying to “do it all” and ending up crying in my bedroom wishing for just an hour to myself. I told my husband that night that it was too difficult to have two at home all day. We set up two days a week where my eldest goes to dayhome, and I can actually get some stuff done when the youngest naps. It’s the support I didn’t know I needed.
Asking for help isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom. Whether it’s texting a friend, joining a mom group, or saying yes to screen time so you can shower in peace, support matters.
Try this: Remind yourself: “It’s okay to need care, too.” You’re not just a mom—you’re a whole human, and your needs matter. When I finally started my weekly coffee shop writing time, I became a better mom because I was nurturing parts of myself beyond motherhood.
On the hardest days, mindset shifts won’t magically clean the house or soothe every meltdown. But they will help you come back to yourself, with more compassion, clarity, and calm.
Yesterday, after my toddler had his third meltdown before noon and I found myself breathing deeply to keep from losing it, I remembered these principles. I put on music, declared a five-minute dance break, and then we went outside. The dishes waited. The emails waited. But that small mindset shift turned our whole day around.
And honestly? That’s the most powerful thing you can do—not just for you, but for your kids, too.
You’ve got this. And if today is tough? That’s okay. Tomorrow gets a fresh start.
The Balanced Mom
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