The first time I held my newborn son during the pandemic, I felt a love so overwhelming it nearly knocked me off my feet. Three hours later, I was sobbing in the hospital bathroom, wondering if I’d made a terrible mistake. That’s motherhood for you—a heart-expanding, soul-stretching journey that changes you in ways you never imagined possible.
My firstborn came screaming into the world when the world itself had gone quiet. Lockdowns meant no visitors, no hands-on support from family, just me and my husband figuring it out while our colicky baby cried for hours on end. I’d pace our living room at 3 AM, bouncing and shushing, wondering if I’d ever sleep again or if this overwhelming anxiety would be my new normal.
By day, I’d scroll through Instagram, seeing other pandemic moms somehow managing to bake sourdough bread while their babies napped peacefully. Meanwhile, my son would only sleep on my chest, and I couldn’t even find time to shower. The isolation and exhaustion fed my postpartum anxiety until it grew into a monster that whispered I wasn’t cut out for this, that everyone else was doing it better.
When my second child arrived two years later, I thought I could be prepared. You can’t. Different baby, different challenges. But this time, I had tools I didn’t have before.
The Reality Behind the Highlight Reel
Let me tell you what no perfectly filtered Instagram post will: motherhood breaks you open. It shatters who you thought you were and rebuilds you, often daily. Some days you’ll feel like a superhero for getting everyone fed and relatively clean. Other days, you’ll lock yourself in the pantry eating chocolate chips, wondering how you’ll make it to bedtime.
Both are normal. Both are valid. Both are part of this beautiful, messy journey.
Finding Your Way Through the Emotional Storm
What saved me wasn’t trying to be perfect—it was finally admitting I wasn’t. Here’s what actually helped when I was drowning:
When my therapist asked what I needed, I broke down because I didn’t even know anymore. I’d been so focused on meeting everyone else’s needs that I’d forgotten my own. She made me start small: name one thing each day that would make me feel more human. Sometimes it was as simple as a shower where I washed my hair, or five minutes alone with my journal.
I joined an online mom group where we could be brutally honest. The first time I admitted I sometimes fantasized about my pre-mom life, I braced for judgment. Instead, a chorus of “me too” messages flooded in. That solidarity became my lifeline on the hardest days.
The Permission You Need to Hear
So let me give you the permission slip I wish someone had handed me: You are allowed to love being a mother and also mourn your old life sometimes. You’re allowed to cherish your children fiercely and still count the minutes until bedtime. You’re allowed to feel everything—the transcendent joy and the mind-numbing tedium.
The truth is, we’re not meant to do this alone. We’re meant to have villages, extended family, communal support. In their absence, we have to build new kinds of communities and be honest about our struggles.
Remember that behind every “perfect” mom you see is someone who has her own breaking points, her own doubts, her own pantry crying sessions. We’re all just doing our best with what we have.
And I promise you—from someone who once couldn’t imagine feeling like herself again—it gets easier. Not because motherhood changes, but because you grow stronger, wiser, and more compassionate with yourself along the way.
What’s been your biggest emotional challenge as a mother? I’d love to hear your story and welcome you into our community where we can navigate this beautiful chaos together.
The Balanced Mom
Ready to grow with a community of like-minded moms?
If you’re craving support, inspiration, and real talk about balancing motherhood and yourself, The Balanced Community is here for you. Inside, we share self-care challenges, expert advice, and a safe space to connect with other moms who get it.
In our community, you’ll find women like April, who started a morning writing practice after ten years away from her passion. You’ll meet Candace, who’s learning to ask for help without apology. You’ll connect with Jasmine, who’s navigating the delicate balance of career ambitions and family life.
Most importantly, you’ll find a place where your growth is celebrated, your struggles are honored, and your whole self—not just your “mom self”—is welcomed.
✨ Join us today and step into this season feeling lighter, supported, and ready to bloom!
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