I remember the first time it hit me. I was sitting in my car outside daycare, mascara smudged from crying, already late for a meeting. My 18 month-old’s tears during drop-off were still echoing in my ears. That crushing feeling in my chest? Classic mom guilt. And let me tell you, it’s been my unwanted companion through countless moments since then.
Here’s what I’ve learned in the trenches of motherhood: that guilt you’re feeling? It’s not a reflection of your parenting – it’s a reflection of how deeply you care. But loving our children doesn’t mean we have to drown in guilt.
Every time I scroll through Instagram and see those perfectly curated moments – the homemade organic snacks, the Pinterest-worthy birthday parties, the mom who somehow manages to work full-time while volunteering at every school event – I have to remind myself to stop. Just stop. Because behind every “perfect” post is another mom probably fighting the same battles I am.
Let me share what’s actually helped me (not just what looks good on paper):
When I finally started taking time to work on the crafts I love, I felt guilty about the time away from my kids. But you know what? I came up with more patience, more energy, and more genuine smiles. My kids didn’t notice the hour I was gone – they noticed how present I was when I came back.
I’ve learned to ask myself: “Would I judge my best friend for doing this?” When I forgot to send in Valentine’s Day cards or served chicken nuggets three nights in a row during a crazy work week, would I think less of her as a mother? Never. So why do I torture myself?
The turning point came when my son said “Mom, I really love you”, this was in response to my getting short with him about home long bed time was taking. I was thrown and responded the same to let him know he is loved as well. He could see me getting frustrated and gave me a reset. The night was smooth after that.
Some practical things that have helped me let go:
I’ve started a “win jar” – every night, I write down one thing I did well as a mom that day. Even if it’s as simple as “made them laugh at dinner” or “handled that tantrum without losing my cool.”
I’ve found my community – other moms who keep it real. We text each other our parenting fails and victories, no judgment attached. Having someone who gets it makes all the difference.
I’ve learned to reframe my “mom guilt moments” into teaching opportunities. When I apologize to my kids after losing my temper, I’m not just making amends – I’m showing them it’s okay to be human and make mistakes.
Here’s the truth I want you to hold onto: your kids don’t need a perfect mom. They need YOU – with all your beautiful imperfections, your genuine efforts, and your endless love. That guilt you’re carrying? It’s time to set it down. You’re doing so much better than you think.
Remember, mama: you’re not just raising children – you’re raising future adults who will remember the love more than the lapses, the presence more than the perfection, and the joy more than the juggling.
You’ve got this. We’ve all got this. And it’s okay if some days “got this” means surviving on coffee and broken sleep. Those are the real moments that make up this beautiful mess called motherhood.
The Balanced Mom
What’s your biggest mom guilt trigger, and how do you handle it?
Comment below let’s support each other through this journey.
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