When you’re a mom, life moves fast. Between juggling work, family, and the endless to-do lists, self-care can often feel like a luxury, not a necessity. But, believe it or not, a practical self-care plan can make all the difference—not just in how you feel, but in how you show up for everyone around you. Let’s dive into how to create a self-care plan that actually works, so you can sustain the energy, balance, and confidence you need to thrive!
1. Define What Self-Care Means to You
Self-care is deeply personal; it doesn’t look the same for everyone. For one mom, it might mean a weekly yoga session or a morning routine that includes journaling. For another, it might mean grabbing ten quiet minutes with a hot coffee and a good book. I like to make my morning coffee a non-negotiable, my kids know that I have my coffee before we can start playing together. Which is great, they have started setting their non-negotiable’s as well, most involve sugar and screen time, but hey it’s where they are currently at. Start by asking yourself:
- What makes me feel recharged?
- What activities or moments give me the most joy?
- What parts of my life need more balance or attention?
Think about your needs holistically, across physical, mental, emotional, and social areas. Reflecting on these questions will guide you toward a self-care plan that feels authentic and achievable.
2. Set Small, Actionable Goals
It’s tempting to dive in with big goals like “exercise every day” or “never skip my skincare routine,” but it’s often the small, consistent actions that make self-care sustainable. I wish I could carve out an hour everyday to workout, but in the phase of parenting it’s not realistic, and I would be to tempted to beat myself up if I couldn’t make it happen. Break down your self-care goals into manageable steps:
- Identify your top three priorities. Maybe it’s getting better sleep, eating healthier, or finding moments to relax each day.
- Start small. If your goal is to exercise, try a 15-minute walk a few times a week, and build from there.
- Set reminders. Schedule time for your self-care just as you would for any other commitment. If it’s scheduled you will make it happen, planning is key.
3. Create a Flexible Self-Care Routine
Life as a mom can be unpredictable, so flexibility is essential. Build a self-care routine with options that fit different types of days:
- Daily Micro-Moments: Think of small actions that require just a few minutes—like deep breathing, drinking a glass of water, or savoring a quick snack (even if that means you are tucked away in the pantry).
- Weekly Check-Ins: These might involve things that take a little more time, like a quick declutter of your space, a 30-minute workout, or a dedicated family outing.
- Monthly Recharges: Plan for slightly bigger things, like scheduling a babysitter for some “me time” or planning a fun outing with friends or family. Having something planned will help eliminate the decision fatigue you get when you finally have some time to yourself.
4. Adjust Your Self-Care Plan with Seasons of Life
Your self-care needs may change with the seasons (both literal and metaphorical). Maybe right now, rest and sleep need to be your top priorities. Other times, social connection or creativity might be more critical to your well-being. Check in with yourself often and adjust as needed.
- Tune in weekly or monthly to assess what’s working and what’s not.
- Let go of guilt. Self-care is not a one-size-fits-all journey, and it’s perfectly okay to pivot as life changes. Social media will tell you lots of great things, but there can also be lots of judgement, in the words of the most annoying princess “let it go” (sorry I know that’s stuck in your head now).
5. Track Your Progress and Celebrate Small Wins
Tracking your self-care progress can reinforce positive habits and motivate you to keep going. Keep a simple journal or use a habit-tracking app to log the small wins. Seeing your progress over time—even the little things—helps reinforce the positive effects of your self-care and reminds you why it’s so important.
- Celebrate your consistency, not just the outcomes. Consistency is the secret sauce to a self-care plan that truly works.
- Reflect on how you feel. Notice any improvements in your mood, energy, or stress levels as you stick to your self-care goals.
- Have a mom friend you can use a accountability partner? I love having someone that can help me stay on track with my goals but in a non-judgy way. Consider sharing your progress and small wins with someone who will help uplift you! And if you don’t, I can help with that 💜.
6. Remember Self-Care is Not Selfish—It’s Essential
Taking care of yourself is not just beneficial for you; it’s also a way to be more present, patient, and engaged with your family. When you make self-care a priority, you’re investing in a happier, healthier you—which benefits everyone around you. Embrace the mindset that self-care is essential, not optional. Speaking as someone who clawed their way back from postpartum anxiety and depression, you deserve the best version of you but so do your kids! I have lots of guilt and shame about the mother my first born got. But I have so much pride and joy for the mom he and his new brother now have.
The Bottom Line
Creating a self-care plan that works doesn’t mean fitting into a mold or achieving perfection. It’s about making small, realistic choices that add up over time, being flexible, and staying committed to nurturing yourself. Give yourself grace, celebrate your wins, and remember: when you’re taking care of yourself, you’re better able to take care of the people you love.
Now, go ahead, mama—start building that self-care plan. You’ve got this!
The Balanced Mom
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